Твитнуть
Can Spelling Reform Save English As Europe's Number One
This morning New Labor and the European Commission have announced a new five-point plan to save English as a European language. German spelling reform, say New Labor and the European Commission, will make the German language so attractive that English is doomed even in Canterbury, Coventry and Cardiff, unless a comparable spelling reform in English is immediately introduced. Her Majesty's government has adopted a five-year program for the development of Euro-English or Euro for short: In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but the typewriter kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm on the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 % shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of the double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e" s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v". During ze fifz year, vi vil hev e rili sensibl ritn stail. Zer vil bi nou mor trabls or difikaltis and evrivan vil faind it isi tu anderstand itsch azer. Ze drim ov Englisch es ze vorlds spitsch vil faineli kam tru. A spoof, hopefully at least, now being reprinted in German language papers in Europe as a playful criticism of a proposed German spelling reform.
This morning New Labor and the European Commission have announced a new five-point plan to save English as a European language. German spelling reform, say New Labor and the European Commission, will make the German language so attractive that English is doomed even in Canterbury, Coventry and Cardiff, unless a comparable spelling reform in English is immediately introduced. Her Majesty's government has adopted a five-year program for the development of Euro-English or Euro for short: In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but the typewriter kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm on the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 % shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of the double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e" s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v". During ze fifz year, vi vil hev e rili sensibl ritn stail. Zer vil bi nou mor trabls or difikaltis and evrivan vil faind it isi tu anderstand itsch azer. Ze drim ov Englisch es ze vorlds spitsch vil faineli kam tru. A spoof, hopefully at least, now being reprinted in German language papers in Europe as a playful criticism of a proposed German spelling reform.
Ямамото Цунэтомо
Комментарий